Modern-day disaster

I have to say that this story includes situations that may trigger you if you have faced a loss or traumatic birth experience.

Michele, I have no words for the grief you clearly feel over the loss you have experienced. My deepest condolences, yet I find it heartening that you can look at your son and be amazed. You clearly love him deeply and I am forever honored that you chose to share this story with my readers and I.

My story is a bit ugly, but I’ll share it anyways. My first time getting pregnant, I got pregnant with twins. Boy/Girl twins. Everything went smooth, for a while.

At 23 weeks I felt a gush while walking through Wal Mart. We rushed to the er. The test showed that the fluid was in fact amniotic.

After stabilizing my bp and heart rate (which were now both high) they moved me via ambulance to my delivery hospital. (Ambulance also got lost in a subdivision, which didn’t help my vitals).

My delivering hospital did the same test. Said the results were inconclusive. Then sent me home. At 24 weeks the bleeding started.

We returned to the delivering hospital 3 times over the next two weeks for heavy bleeding. Each time to be told the babies look fine, they cant find the source of the bleeding, and to be sent home. On bed rest. Which I followed.

At 26+4 I started hemorrhaging at home. Same song and dance, only this time they decided to keep me. This was a Thursday. That Friday I was told that I had proteins in my urine..and was severe preeclamptic. As well as a possible placenta abruption (they weren’t positive)

Saturday the contractions started. You could feel them on my stomach but they weren’t showing on the monitor. The nurses basically told me I was wrong. It was just Braxton hicks spasms. That was late Saturday night. This continued through late Sunday night.

At this point, these contractions had increased and were getting closer and closer. I was literally bending the bars on the hospital bed. I started feeling the need to push. Like, push now.

We told the nurse who again didn’t believe me. Finally, we insisted she check to see if I was dilating. Here things got hectic. Her exact words were ” oh my god. I feel digits!” I was dilated to TEN!

Everything went fast here. Emergency c section. The iv infiltrated. I wasn’t numbed when they started cutting. I was supposed to be asleep through it but I was awake. Crying. Intubated and unable to speak. It was literally a horror movie.

My daughter came out first, crying. My son came out second and wasn’t breathing. Both babies were rushed to NICU and I was put back to sleep for several hours. (Apparently bleeding was horrible at this point. I didn’t know that until almost six months later)

My son was kept at the delivering hospital, my daughter was moved a few towns over for hypoplastic lung issues. The next morning we received a PHONE CALL from the other hospital that my daughter had died while they were trying to insert a tube through her chest into her lung. It was mortifying.

To this day. 5 years later, I am still so thankful to have my beautiful boy, but have never really talked to anyone about our horrible disaster of a birthing experience.

My son was 2 pounds at birth. After 65 days in the NICU, he came home before his due date.

Today he is in kindergarten. Handsome. So smart. No big delays other than a lazy eye were working to fix. Even through tragedy, this little angel flourished into something just amazing. Stronger and taller than most kids his age. An absolute amazement to me.

Please know that I share stories like this so we can learn from them and where the medical support was lacking (though I make no accusations myself) that we have a chance to correct that in the future. There is so much that we need to change and correct with how women and babies are treated within the pregnancy and birthing experience that stories like this MUST be shared to help our support teams understand WHY we need the changes.