Giving Birth can be both traumatic and absolutely beautiful. What I love about reading Evy’s story below is that she and her husband took control of their choices around birth and had some very different and even healing experiences from birthing their little ones.
It’s not every day that we get to participate in the joy and peace that of our personal best option for delivering a baby, but when we do, it can be truly magical.
At 17 I had my first baby. In the hospital, induction, epidural, the whole experience.
At 25 I had my second baby, induction, epidural, c-section, and this time with ALL the family drama. The drama was so bad that once everyone was gone and my husband and I were finally alone and holding our perfect, healthy, adorable baby… we cried and mourned over the experience we had just getting him into our arms. That night we decided to do an out of hospital birth for our next baby. An idea I had previously REFUSED to consider.
My philosophy was something like “either way you get a baby, it’s not like there is a cash prize for doing it without the drugs.” It’s funny I felt that way because I’m not one that fears pain, in fact, I have a pretty high pain threshold. Yet society had me convinced and I believed that childbirth was more than I could handle.
So 2 years later 5 days past my due date, I woke up, went to the bathroom and discovered I had lost my plug. I was sure to shout from the bathroom for the whole house to know 😉 I texted my midwife and she said to expect labor within the next 48 hours.
Well, 30 min later contraction 1 happened… but I wasn’t convinced. It was more like I was just flexing my stomach. However, throughout the day the contractions grew longer, stronger, and closer together. Still no pain though.
My husband worked nights and was trying to figure out if he should go to work, I said yes, “this isn’t labor, this is just the warm-up” but he called the midwife and she said, “you’re not going to work tonight, y’all are having a baby”.
We labored at home for a while till the midwife said it was time to go to the birthing center, I labored in the tub, and though I couldn’t talk during the contractions at that point, I remember thinking “when is it going to get hard?”, To this day I compare it to helping a friend move their new couch in the house, it’s heavy, it’s work, but it’s not painful.
I mean you don’t see me having conversation well when I’m carrying furniture upstairs, but I’m not in pain and in need of an epidural either. I couldn’t believe when it was time to push, we were talking, making jokes, and I was pushing out a baby… so I started dreading “the ring of fire” and I felt it. But my goodness even that wasn’t “painful”, especially since my MW coached me through breathing his head out rather than “pushing”.
When he was out I was amazed! I was shocked. I had prayed not for a pain-free delivery but to enjoy every moment of labor and I did. And my husband did. And my mom who was terrified of birth because of her own experiences enjoyed it, was amazed by it, and got some healing from it.
I enjoyed it so much I would have another baby just for the experience. Now 7 years later my husband still talks to men AND WOMEN and tries to convince them its the way to go. Birth is amazing!
Thank you Evy for sharing! And congratulations on your little ones.