You should never let someone tell you that you can’t handle birthing your baby! And Bree’s story is a perfect example, our bodies are made to do this, and they know what to do if we just get out of their way!
I went into labor at 3 am on the 18th of October.
I woke up just uncomfortable but not in any pain. Sitting didn’t help, rocking didn’t help, and my husband rubbing my back didn’t help. I called my mother-in-law and asked what I should do because I needed to sleep for work tomorrow morning. She told me what my midwife had said to me probably a million times “change your position and if it doesn’t change that is labor”.
So I got out of bed and paced our bedroom floor, it wasn’t going away, so I thought I might be in labor. I was unsure because this is my first birth and second pregnancy. All I remember from my miscarriage is everything feeling like really really bad cramps, but this just felt uncomfortable. I had read a book called the Bradley Method, It’s about a natural unmedicated method for childbirth. (I highly recommend this book!). In the book, I read that fighting the contraction and tensing up will not help get the baby out, and increases the sensations making the feeling worse and more painful.
I am not the one that will put on a brave face when I’m hurting and my mom and family members were worried I wouldn’t be able to do it and that I would suffer. I also had coworkers putting bets on me after they found out I wanted to do it unmedicated. They all thought I wouldn’t be able to do it and if I did I’d wished I wouldn’t.
When I’d hear this it would scare me a little bit, and to get my mind back I would always think, God created me perfectly and needing nothing so if my body is made to give birth then I can do it. I would chalk their advice up to being uneducated too. In reading the book I was now informed on how to birth the way I wanted to do it. So I was gonna prove everyone wrong!
As I was in early labor I tried to be as calm and relaxed and let my body and my instincts take over. I thought to time my contractions. For about an hour they stayed at 30 seconds and a 10-15 minute break. After that hour tho they sped up. They were now 1 .5 minutes long and 5 minutes apart. I know that at that point you usually go to the doctor so I called my mother-in-law again and told her. Her advice was to calmy call my midwife and see what she wanted me to do. The time was now at 6 am.
Now I’m 10 days early from my due date so I kinda thought still that this might not me real labor and neither did my midwife. She advised me to wait at home for a little while and see how it went. She also said that she would call her assistant and have her on stand by if things didn’t change and I needed to have a check.
The time is now 7:20 and things haven’t changed and I’m texting my midwife about every 40 minutes with contraction updates. She gives me the green light to come in and get checked. My husband had left for work at 7 am and we still thought it might be Braxton hicks. So I called my mother-in-law again and she drove down the driveway and picked me up. We live about 30 or 35 minutes away from the birthing center. So now we arrive around 9 am and right behind us is my midwife’s assistant.
She lets is all in and get some lights on and turns up the heat to get it a bit warmer. I settled in on the bed and wait for the next contraction. As she is checking me you can see a little change in her face, not bad, just intrigued. After checking me she says “well your at a good 6 cm so I’m gonna call Brinda and let her know and start getting the room ready for you.
When my mother-in-law herd a 6 she was shocked, and so was I. I didn’t bring any of my bags or supplies and all that I had was the box of birthing stuff that I had in a box waiting for me at the center.
So like the amazing mom she is my mother-in-law was on the phone. She called my husband and told him to get his but there. Called my father-in-law and told him I was in labor and need everything that I had packed from the house and then called my mom. After all the calling was done she stood with me and held my shoulder through my contractions. My right shoulder was the only thing that had the most pressure at that point. I was still able to talk through contractions and make jokes and laugh but that shoulder was a pain in the rear when I was contracting. So it helped for her to put pressure there.
My mother-in-law says I threw up around this time but I don’t remember that. The next thing I remember is my father-in-law walking in and my husband and brother-in-law walk in about 10 minutes later. My husband came over in a little bit of excitement and a little bit concerned and went to give me a hug. Right as he came in a contraction was coming on so both his Mom and I gave him a hand to stop and wait at the same time. I could hear my mother-in-law say contraction very softly as to not distract me.
After the contraction, I apologized and explained I just needed to focus but then hugged and kissed him. My parents and brother walked in the door about 30 minutes later and were loud. (I was not happy about that) I quickly had to get a little loud and get my mom’s attention and tell her to be softer when she spoke and quiet for me. It was received and for the most part, she was very good about being calm and soft for me (my family is just loud).
It was about an hour later and I had been up and sat on the toilet, let walk around some and then back on the bed. Then my midwife walked in (she lived a distance away). So now I was let get into the birthing pool which I loved! the pressure in my legs was building and they felt like 10-pound weights and contractions were stronger but still not really painful.
After about 10 minutes of labor, I was checked, it was intense but just a lot of pressure that I had to focus and breath threw. After a little while, I felt and heard in my ears the “pop” of my water. that was game on. from that moment on id say it got a little bit more painful. it was nothing more than I can bear but I will say that it changed from just pressure to a lot of pressure and a little bit of pain.
My contractions were almost back to back and I knew I was close to the end. All I wanted to do was get on my knees and push. so I flipped on my knees and had about 2 good pushes and my midwife checked me. The baby was crowning and I felt it. That right there hurt. When they say the ring of fire it really is a ring of fire.
Now I’m on my knees in a pool of water and with the pool, it’s not wise to be facing that way a deliver the baby. So my midwife said I needed to turn back around. when I went to move my leg to get back down I realized the pressure in my legs was too great for me to move. I started to panic some. In my panic, I got a little loud and said I can’t move. There was no thought or deliberation between my midwife, husband, mother-in-law, and mom; they all simultaneously started to pick up on my leg and turn my shoulders to help me get back in the right position.
I had one more contraction before he actually crowned and man, I wanted nothing more than to push that head out and relieve that pressure right there. If in the middle, of the push my midwife had told me to stop or I was gonna rip I would not have been able to. The urge was too strong to really stop even tho I was trying. She then told me to touch his head.
Now I don’t know about you but the things going thew my mind in about 5 seconds sounded something like this; “what! touch his head! I can’t touch his head, that’s weird! He is still inside me! I will touch him when he all the way out! I’m not touching his head!”. Also without me really knowing it, my mother-in-law who was coaching me behind my head started pushing my arm toward his head and just as I touched his head the whole room lit up. I could now see everyone around me and not just my midwife and mother-in-law. I could see the whole room and everyone in it. That alone stopped the urge to push.
I got a small break before I felt it again and got a go from the midwife that I was in the clear. So in that push, his head was out and one more and he was laying on my chest. I had done it! I had given birth to my sweet little boy. I proved everyone that said I couldn’t do it wrong! And I felt so strong and amazing all at the same time.
I birthed my placenta in the pool too. That one was stubborn and they had to pull on it a bit but it eventually came. When his water broke his sac ruptured into 5 pieces so the small parts had to be taken out piece by piece. I also had my placenta turned in to pills because I have a family history of depression and taking the pills is supposed to help with postpartum depression and many more things. I do think that helped me as well. I really want to let any woman that wants to but might be scared to know that if you tell your self you can and you inform yourself on how then you can do it! God made our bodies to do amazing things and something that should be more than any human to bear but we can do it! you can and you will, for you, your baby, and any person who says you can’t!
Thank you Bree for sharing your amazing story, I wish you and your little man lots of love and bonding!